Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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