it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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