so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
