her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
