She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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