I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
