Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
