Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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