Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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