I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
