that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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