I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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