Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
