How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
