Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
