We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
