y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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