I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
