I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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