i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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