Only a mothe r could love this liver
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You are a genius and a whore.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The ass gains better be worth it
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