His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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