I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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