I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
