You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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