Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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