At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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