you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think your dad took our porno
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
