I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
