I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
