She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
