so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
3pm strippers are depressing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
