i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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