I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
