how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
