Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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