I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
