So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
