His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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