yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
