Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
