i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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