Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Randomize
