As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she looked like the before picture.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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