Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Randomize
