It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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