What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
