There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
