I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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