No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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