You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
