dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
